The Mercy of Living [TAG: Lucas]

It was rare that the two of them spent this much time alone together. Usually they were being whisked away by friends, or were around a lot of other people. This wasn't too normal. But it was nice to talk to her and try to cheer her up It was a very nice change in pace in their friendship. Even though it was weird, he meant what he said. He really did enjoy talking to her and listening to her. He wasn't doing it just to be nice to her. He was doing it because he wanted to do it.

"And if you weren't doing okay, I'd of course try cheer you up." He didn't know what had possessed him to reach out and wipe the tear from her cheek. Maybe it was to allow her to not worry about it. He didn't care that she was crying slightly. He hated seeing it, but it wasn't as though he thought any different about her for it. His hands were rough from the many years he had had playing quidditch, but his touch was as gentle as it could be. Touching her like this almost felt normal. Which was weird, as he had never done something like that. He enjoyed feeling her skin under his fingertips, no matter how temporary.

He chuckled a little when she went back to her normal banter. "Okay, okay, fine you're not in distress I get it." he said in jest, even though he knew the dictionary definition of damsel, being a young and unmarried woman, actually fit her. "Like you never got me even when you were in the best mood you could be." That was how they were. Always busting each other's chops.

"Why are you being so nice to me, huh?"

Deep down Lucas knew why he was being nice to her. Other than the fact he was actually a nice guy, He knew he liked her as more than just a friend. But there was no way to move on that. Regardless of the fact she was dating someone else, she was out of his league. He'd never have a chance with her right? But he also hated seeing people bullied or abused. He knew all too well how that felt. But he wasn't going to just admit that had happened. So how should he even answer that question. "Because I'm a nice guy, and I hate seeing my friends at all upset."

Why did she feel like he wasn't telling the whole truth? She knew that she shouldn't be the one to judge because she really wasn't being forthcoming either but even so... She was curious. Amelia hated not knowing things. That's why she tended to get so frustrated in her magic classes when everyone else seemed to grasp lessons so easily or, at the very least, quicker than she ever could. It was like always being on the outside of things and she was feeling that way now.

"Ok. I get that you're a nice guy. Fine. I'll give you that." And for Amelia that was saying a lot, especially when in regards to Lucas, because she fought him on  just about every matter. "But even the nicest of guys wouldn't just up and leave a party. You had your own little fan club last I saw." The Keeper remarked bluntly in her American accent noting that he had been surrounded by more than a couple girls who obviously had noticed during the year just how handsome he was and saw this as their last chance to get their name in the hat for his affections.

"I mean half of the time I feel like I bug you." She admitted, turning to face him head on now. "Which is totally fair because I pick on you all of the damn time but unless you told me I wouldn't even know that we were friends." Another weak smile. This wasn't a comment meant to hurt but was rather the state of things. "I'm glad that we are though. I'm lucky to know you, Lucas. And whatever the reason I appreciate you coming to check on me... But if you ever tell anyone I'll kick you in the balls."

While deep down he knew his feelings for her, that was different than what he actually admitted to himself. It was even harder to see how other people felt about him. Especially Amelia. He was having a hard time reading her. He usually did with her. He was never quite sure if the banter was because they were friends or something else. He assumed, since she kept talking to him, that it was because they were friends.

"Finally a win with you." He said, almost triumphantly. She usually didn't give him a bone like that. "They're not my friends though. You're my friend. I'd rather spend my last night here with people I care about, not people who want to be with me." He said with a shrug. Plus sometimes the attention females gave him wasn't always that wanted. Especially when they talked at him for hours on end. Even if he was looking for a relationship that moment, it wouldn't be fair to start something when he was leaving the school. He needed to get settled before looking for that. Maybe sometime to distance his feelings for the girl next to him.

"You don't bug me Evans." He said as he watched her turn to face him. Well she didn't bug him in the way she probably meant. "You've never given me a reason to not be your friend. You've always been nice to me, in your own way. You listen. Why wouldn't I be your friend? Its more confusing to me as to why you'd be friends with me." It was true. She was the big shot quidditch star. Sure he played quidditch, but he was a nerd, right? What reason would she have to be friends with him? He faced her as she said she was appreciative. "I'm lucky to have you as a friend too. Don't worry I won't tell a soul that I came down here. I'm just glad you're okay." he said with a smile. It was really nice to be able to look at her, without worrying about anyone else seeing.

"You care about me?" She clearly had picked up on one of his statements more than the others even if it was in passing. Really she knew she shouldn't be asking even if only for clarification but she couldn't stop herself. When folks cared about her it was because she added to some Quidditch stats or bet pool that one had going on. Never for who she was. Somehow she doubted Lucas needed more money with his family nor did he probably want her to do well at a sport he was also involved in and competition in. So he had to mean it, right?

"I don't know why I want to be friends with you." She admitted simply. Why does anyone want to be friends with anyone? Sometimes you just liked a person and it was as basic as that. "I like you." That was harmless enough of an admission, wasn't it? It made sense in the context of friendship but the meaning was possibly a little deeper. Not that Lucas needed to know that. "Yeah. I'm okay. Thank you." She repeated with a little smile standing there looking at him for far longer than she ever should. But what now? 

"Maybe we should go. They're probably waiting for us." Right?

He nodded before saying "I do." He really did. There wasn't anyway to change that. Even in the years in the future where their bickering was less friend like, and more I'm angry at you, he still cared about her. It was hard to turn off. He'd always try and be there for her, even after they had gotten into that fight. Even if he didn't even fully realize how much he cared for her. It would always be there. And it was for her as a person, not her as a quidditch player. He had always seen her as a player. He had grown up around professional quidditch players, and they had all just been regular people to him. He didn't see her any different. Well except for the fact she wasn't just a regular person to him.

"I think you're all into charity work." he said, teasing her a little, going back to his comments about Wood. There wasn't a reason he could see for her wanting to be friends with him. Of course her next statement could lead to all types of reading into. He figured she just meant she liked him as a friend. "Well I'm glad you do." He said with a smile, his eyes catching hers. "You're welcome Evans."

When she said they should go, he half-heartedly nodded. "I suppose." But he didn't move. He was enjoying this. He was enjoying standing so close to her. He didn't want this moment to end. He was close enough to her that he could just lean down and kiss her. And how he wanted to. But he couldn't. Right?

"Can you at least pretend to be ok with it?" She gave a tired sigh. This would be a very long life and difficult friendship if he kept taking jabs at Oliver. Whether true or not (and they were true) it still made her feel terrible to stand there and hear because as a girlfriend she probably should defend him and on the other hand were roundabout insults of her because she was with him. What did that say about her decision making if she was still with the guy? Hopefully Lucas would understand. Besides she didn't want to waste their precious bit of time together making fun of someone who wasn't even there. It was more fun to jab at one another for whatever reason.

His eyes caught hers again and she was smiling at him again. It happened so naturally and just couldn't be helped or prevented. "Yeah." Well here they were, both agreeing that it was time to leave, except neither of them budged, Funny how that worked out. He stood in front of her, a great deal taller and broader than she was. Even as a seventh year he looked every bit a grown man to the young lady and it was odd to see him that way, even at night, for the very first time. "Then uh... why aren't we?..." She nervously asked in a quiet voice mixed with an unsure laugh. What was happening?

"For you, I can do that." He'd never stop thinking he wasn't right for her, but if that was what her decision was, he could live with it. He'd just be the good friend she could come to if she ever needed help with anything, or even just to vent. He could do that for her. If that was the role he'd be in for the rest of time, he could adjust. He could move on. Right? Maybe some time away, without seeing her every day, would help. Maybe the time would help as well. Maybe some day she would see how bad Wood really was. He could hope right?

Her smile was one of his favorite things, especially when it lit her eyes up as well. He was happy that she was back to smiling and not upset over whatever Wood had done up in the party. He wanted to keep standing here looking at her face, remembering this version of her, so he had something happy to look back on when he was gone from the school. "I don't know." he said quietly. They had both agreed it would be wise to head back to the party, but neither of them had moved an inch. He was really unsure of what was going on. They were standing so close, in the moonlight with the sound of the lake against the dock they were standing on. Before he really realized what he was doing he was leaning in slowly, watching for any signs of objection. And before he knew it, his lips were on hers. It was everything he had been talking about earlier in the day. But seemingly as soon as it started, it was over, and he stood there breathless, not quite believing he had just done that.

"Thank you." Amelia told him quietly. She did appreciate it. She knew it took a lot for him to set aside his dislike for Oliver, which had been existent even before she and her fellow Gryffindor had started dating, to maintain their friendship. She wasn't sure she could do the same if the sides were flipped but Lucas didn't need to know that. Amelia could admit, to herself, that she was a bit of a hypocrite or perhaps to stubborn and determined to notice such things. "See? Isn't that easy?" She teased the Ravenclaw with a hint of a smirk... Her signature.

He didn't know what to do next. Well, she certainly didn't either. Where did that leave them? To stand there in both of their own not knowing-ness? Apparently not. Before she could even put two and two together she saw him leaning toward her. Her breath caught in her throat and she held it waiting on baited breath to see what he did next. Her fists clenched and her soft lips were met with his. Instant fireworks. Her chest got all fuzzy, her whole body tingled, and her heart raced as they stood there on the dock sharing their very first kiss draped in moonlight. Her right hand raising to lightly clasp his tanned cheek.

As soon as it had begun it ended and she was left standing there, looking at him in awe, in a daze and absolutely dumbfounded. "Wow..." Came her voice on an exhale chocolate brown eyes seeing nothing but the seventh year in front of her. At first she forgot how to move, forgot how to speak, even forgot her own name. Her very breath had been taken away.  What could she say? What could she do? It all escaped her until she felt the weight of the light broomstick necklace around her neck A gift from Wood. Her boyfriend. "Why did you do that?" She asked. Nervous by the response. Why had she done it? And why did she want to do it again?

The kiss was everything he had thought a kiss would be if there was a spark. It left him breathless and almost breathing hard at the same time. And of course it was with the one girl he didn't think he had a snowball's chance with. He didn't even know what had possessed him to lean forward and kiss her. Plus she was taken right? It was probably all sorts of wrong. But he didn't care. With how good that felt, he really just didn't care. And she hadn't pushed him away. No she had even lightly gripped his cheek. It was all sorts of confusing.

But it was over, and they were just standing there, looking at each other. His eyes were locked with her, trying to gauge how that had been for her. Of course she answered it by saying wow. But was it a good wow? He hoped so. "Wow indeed..." He said quietly, almost not wanting to ruin the moment. But he knew the moment couldn't last. He already knew this kiss wasn't going to be something they could talk about. She was with someone. It would be wrong to talk about it after this. "I don't know. It just felt... right." He couldn't explain it. It had sort of just happened. It couldn't happen again right? No they'd probably come to their senses, no matter how much he wanted to just wrap her in an embrace and kiss her again. "I know you're......taken. I'm sorry for doing that." Already apologizing for something, even though she hadn't pushed him away.

"Wow indeed..."

For f***s sake! That wasn't enough to go on. That wasn't even enough for her to read into. It could have meant anything. He could have hated it! Where there had previously been butterflies and fireworks there was now worry and dread. Her stomach tied up in the most unpleasant of knots and a blush rising in her cheeks. They burned. Like she was the most embarrassed she had ever been. Not because of the kiss but because of what surrounded it. She was taken. She was someone's girlfriend. Even if they had just had another huge blowout or row they were still together... At least that's what she thought. How could she have done such a thing? Beyond that... What Lucas must think of her! But what did she care what he thought of her?! They weren't dating! Merlin, this was complicated and then some!

"No. Don't be sorry." She corrected him firmly her right hand raising to stop him trying to be brave even though she could no longer look at him. There was too much going on there. "We should - I should get back." She swallowed down the rest of her words. The questions she wanted to ask. The things she wanted to do again. "I.. I'll see you there." But truth be told she wasn't even sure if she would be returning to the BBQ. She would probably run as fast as her feet would carry her to the Gryffindor dorms to hide out. "Goodnight, Hart." And back to the last name they were. That was safer.

Sure his descriptor wasn't very good, but he had become all but speechless. That kiss had pretty much proved that a kiss could tell a lot about things. But he couldn't even act on it. This was just unfair. But if he could go back in time and change what had happened, he wouldn't have. Not when he knew how it felt to kiss her. He would never regret kissing her on this dock, even in the stretch of time they didn't get along in the future. Even if it was the last kiss with her, he wouldn't regret it. But it just made everything more complicated. If he had just crushed on her, and never kissed her, maybe he would have gotten over it. Or if the kiss hadn't felt so wonderful he would move on. Not now. Not with that connection he had felt.

"But I am." He said. Even if she didn't want him to feel that way, he still felt it. He had put her into an awkward position by kissing her. He shouldn't have done it. "Yeah, we should." He nodded and then watched as she started to make a move away from him. "Yeah... I'll see you there." He didn't know if he would. He felt as though he should avoid her. Especially with Wood around. "Night, Evans." He said watching her head out. He stayed at the dock for a few more moments, relishing the moment for a little bit longer before heading back up to the party.

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