That's a First [Tag: Lucas]

"Yeah yeah I know." It had just been the shock. It wasn't like they had been trying at all for a baby. They were both very busy with their respective teams. But looking back there were a few times that they had been less then careful. Mostly because they couldn't wait when they did get a chance to see each other. They had both been very busy, but right now things had calmed down over the winter break, which had meant he had gotten to spend more time with her. He still couldn't believe it, but when she said she had taken three tests, it was sinking in a little bit more. He knew with the tests there was a chance for a false positive, but not with three. "So this is happening.." he said trying to let it sink in as he went and hugged her.

He had never given much thought to whether or not he wanted kids. Before he had started dating Amelia none of his relationships had gotten close to thinking about the future. With Amelia all he thought of was trying to keep her in his life for the rest of his life. Beyond that, he hadn't given it much thought. She stepped back from the hug and took his hand. He squeezed it back gently. "I think so." When it finally actually sunk in and the reality set in, he'd be freaking out, but what was there to do. "We weren't exactly cautious though." They had been taking their relationship slow. Partly because their schedules kept them busy, and partly because they just relished every moment. It had taken them well over 10 years from their first kiss to them actually going on a date. When she asked if they should talk about it he nodded a little before leading her over to the bed to sit on the edge of it. "Honestly I hadn't given it much thought. I guess I figured at some point I'd have a family. What about you? Do you want this?" It wasn't really an answer to if he wanted it or not, but he didn't really have an answer. "I think we could manage it. It would be tough, but I think we could handle it." They'd never really be without help, and they both had been earning decent salaries for the last several years.

"Yeah. I'd say it's an almost sure thing. There's definitely something... in there." She awkwardly admitted, not really sure how else to phrase it, as he pulled her intoanother hug. This was good. She desperately needed one with how nervous she was feeling. How had they managed to get here? She had been so damned careful with everything having to do with their relationship... Except for sex sometimes. But just sometimes! They really should have been more careful but they, Amelia in particular being so impulsive, had a tendency to just get swept up in the moment. She was the passionate, knee jerk American and Lucas had always been more passive bending to her will to please her. They were both to blame sure but Amelia was certain a majority of it should have been aimed her way.

"I know. I'm sorry." She sighed looking to the floor. She was almost certain she could pinpoint the night and half the morning that it had happened to. Served him right for surprising her like that! It was still worht it though. "Me neither... I mean not until I took that first test and it kind of.... sunk in I guess. But we can be adults about this can't we? I think we have to be." Crossing her arms she stood in front of the seated Lucas on their bed standing between his legs. "Mom will be thrilled to have a grandkid. I know that for sure. Even if it is out of wedlock." Her eyes widened at her own slip up and she waved her hands in a halt motion. "Not that I want to get married right now because, no offense, I don't." Ugh that probably sounded terrible. "I'm just not ready is all." But she was ready for a kid? Man her priorities were all out of whack for sure but that's just how it was.

"What do you think?" And another concern came to mind. "I don't really want to tell anybody right now in case something..." Ick. "I just don't want to jinx it is all and I don't want to get the team's hopes up or Romy or Licia." 

"Alright. So that's set." he said with a nod. She was pregnant. It was a surprise, but there wasn't anything to be done about it at this point. They were just going to have to deal with it, and work on coming to terms with it. They couldn't go back and be more careful. They couldn't go back and have a conversation about whether or not they wanted kids. No they were going to have to deal with the situation. But they were both adults. They could do it right? But there would be a lot to figure out. But for now he was just trying to let it sink in. Thinking of nothing but trying to come to grips with the fact he was going to be a father.

"Why are you sorry? It wasn't your fault." Thinking back on the last couple of the months, his mind jumped to the time he had surprised her. Had that been the time? Well then he had been the one to surprise her. Not that he would take that time he got to spend with her away. After all they hadn't had much during the season. "I don't think we have much choice but to be adults about this." They couldn't ignore it. And it wasn't like they were teenagers. He was already into his 30s. But what responsibilities had he had really? He was a quidditch player after all. With her standing between his legs he brought his arms to lightly rest on her hips, keeping her close. "What about your dad? Is he going to kill me?" He asked, not even registering the out of wedlock thing. He hadn't given marriage much thought either. Eventually it would happen he was sure, but there was no rush on that right? Or was there. But she assured him she didn't want to get married. He let out a small breath "Don't worry about it. I wouldn't want to rush into it just because of this." No he wanted it to be the right moment. She deserved that.

Then she brought up whether or not he wanted to tell anyone. He shook his head a little, but saying "I'm fine with waiting. Other than our friends I don't have anyone to tell anyway." But then another thought popped into his head, one he knew she wouldn't like it. "You do know you won't be able to play though next season?" There would be no hiding it after a point, and he knew her coach wouldn't let her play in that state. But then he reached up and pulled her so she was sitting in his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "Regardless. I still love you and I'm not going anywhere."

His hands rested on either of her hips and she found she liked his grip there. She liked this more confident side of him and they were working on developing it every day just by being together. "I don't think he can kill you. He is muggle after all. I'm sure you can defend yourself being very skilled in the magic... And other areas." She reassured him with a little smirk accompanied by a wink patting one of his hands. "I don't think he will be thrilled but he'll be more upset with me because I should know better or whatever but I think once he had a grandchild he'll forget all about that." Amelia smiled. She knew her father and he was putty with his kids (when they were young or adults now) so he would probably melt with a grand baby. "Don't worry. Ok?" She leaned forward and kissed his cheek affectionately.

"You do know you won't be able to play though next season?"

She froze. Like she had been zapped and with the remark she pretty much had been so she was very easily pulled into his lap. "What?" She straightened, her eyes wide as if he had punched her in the stomach. She had been gutted. "What do you mean?" In all of the panic and even excitement she had never entertained that though others would see it as obvious. "Not play?" No way. Already she was going into freak out mode. "I have to play. I play. That's what I do. I can't not play." Her brown eyes were practically bulging and her round face drained of color. "You're joking right?" But of course he wasn't. It was common sense. Still, it was sense that she didn't want to believe. "I'm not getting benched." That was humiliating knocked up or not.

"Nah. I'm still gonna play." She laughed it off, shaking her head as she moved his arms out from around her and rose to her feet. "Don't be stupid." She moved to the dresser and began to absentmindedly rearrange things just to keep busy. Were her hands shaking? For Merlin's sake! 

"What other areas would that be?" he said with an almost knowing smirk. With the surprise and seriousness of her revelation, he wanted to lighten it up a little bit. It was a lot to come to terms with the fact he was going to be a father, as long as nothing happened. It would definitely take a couple days to actually sink in. Then there would be the worry of what type of father he would be. What did he have to model his behavior on? Would he turn into his father? He really hoped not. "Yes but you're his little girl. I'm the guy who led you wrong and knocked you up." he said. He couldn't help but worry about what her father would say. They weren't married. They weren't even engaged at this point, and he hadn't even thought of proposing soon. Yet here they were, going to bring a baby into the world. "I can't help but worry." He said, as she kissed his cheek. That's what he did. He worried.

But then he had to go and bring up the fact she wouldn't be able to play. That's how she was able to pulled into his lap. But what sane coach was going to put an unborn child in danger? The sport wasn't exactly risk free. And he knew Jeremy. He wouldn't let her play once he found out, whether she liked it or not. "Amelia, you know he won't let you play. He wouldn't risk you or the baby." The coach wouldn't want that danger on his hands. "I know that's what you do. And you could still do it. After having the baby." He hated seeing her like this. She was freaking out, he could tell, but what was there to do? Really if they were having a straight conversation about this, she needed to know what would happen if they went through with this. "It wouldn't be like being benched for poor play." Like that was any consolation.

"Amelia listen to me." he said as she got up from his lap. "No matter what you want, your coach is not going to let you play. And you won't exactly be able to hide it for long." If she had conceived back when he surprised her, she would certainly be showing by the start of the next season. And it wasn't like those uniforms allowed anyone to hide something like that. "I'm not being stupid." He saw her shaking. He had to ruin a sort of happy moment by saying that. He supposed that was quite stupid. But if they were talking about it. He got up and went over to her, and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Amelia, if you wanted to keep playing and not go through with this, I'd support you. It's up to you, okay?" He whispered, letting her know it was her choice. He knew how important playing was to her. Regardless of what she decided, he'd support her. He was in it for the long run, even if he hadn't put a ring on it yet.

"If we're really splitting hairs here I think I'm the one that led you wrong." She admitted with a little shrug. Though they were adults this was probably true. She was the more outgoing out of the pair. She had turned a quiet little boy into a somewhat assertive man. A man with enough confidence to knock her up and forget his Ravenclaw intelligence for a night. If anyone had a majority of the blame here it was her and she was ok acknowledging that. "Don't worry. Even if he is upset he'll get over it. They both will." She encouraged him pressing a gentle kiss against his cheek. It was the moment of calm before the storm. 

He was right about Coach Jeremy. The man had known her for years, practically raised her even though he was not exactly old himself. But once he knew she was knocked up he would bench her no question. He cared a lot for his players and looked at them as his kids. "I don't have to tell him right away, do I? I mean, I've been practicing when I didn't know and everything has been fine. What's another few months?" She asked, worry in her eyes. She was beginning to freak out in a way she hadn't since Oliver had beaten her up something awful and Lucas had come to her rescue or, worse, since Lucas' dad had nearly killed her. "I need to play Quidditch..." She repeated helplessly, standing before her partner at an utter loss. She didn't know what to do.

"It doesn't matter! I don't want to be benched for any reason!" She exclaimed with a raised voice that she couldn't help. When his arms wrapped around her he'd feel how tense she was, how strung out, and while she didn't fight against his old she didn't exactly melt into it either. "I can't not play." Merlin, this sucked so hard. "But I don't want to do the thing you're insinuating at either." She said with a huff (if he wasn't going to spell it out she would for him). "Ugh." Reaching for his arms and pulling them off of her and striding away from him into their bath in their bedroom slamming the door. After a moment she called out to him from inside the restroom. "It's not fair!" Childlike maybe but hey.. She was stressed out! 

Lucas had never played for Coach Jeremy, but he had met him enough, especially since he had been with Amelia, to know that he didn't mess around with his players. The guy had been injured ending his career way earlier than it should have ended. He didn't want that happening to any of his players. "Yes but you didn't know. Even if you didn't tell him, how would you feel if something happened and you lost the baby or something happened to you because of it?" He could see the worry in her eyes, hating himself for bringing up the subject. But was it just better to get it all out of the way now? The shock, worry, frustration and sadness all in one go so they could focus on what was actually going to happen? They would certainly need to grow up more than they already had. A baby would be a big responsibility. "I know..." He knew because he knew how much the sport meant to him. It was the only thing he had ever wanted to do for a job, even if he had almost been driven out by the suffocating control of his father. Even then he had no idea what he wanted to do.

"Would it still be benching if you chose to take a break?" He didn't know how she would view it. Maybe if she was the one to take herself out, it would be different. A big part of him doubted that would be the case, but he didn't know. "You can't play and keep the baby, Evans..." he said, really giving her the two options she actually had. Evidently that wasn't something appropriate to say at the moment as she stormed off to the bathroom. He sighed and headed that way and just slumped down on the floor next to the door. After a few moments she said it wasn't fair, and he had to agree. Plus it just felt as though he had just gone and ruined Christmas by bringing up something that would have had to be addressed anyway. "I'm sorry Amelia." he said from his spot on the floor. Sorry for knocking her up, and causing this dilemma. Sorry for feeling like Christmas was going wrong. Sorry for just everything.

"So?!" She huffed angrily from her seated position on the bathroom floor, her back against the wall coincidentally the same spot where Lucas was currently siitting on the other side. He had a point. As much as she wanted to continue to play the sport that she loved so much if she opted to have this baby and something happened to it because of her own selfishness she would kick herself for the rest of her days. She still felt extremely guilty about Ryan Sunderlin (the keeper before her) and his murder even though that had been some bad, terrorist group and not her fault so that should have been a strong indication of how she might take things if the worst happened.

"I don't want to be benched." She repeated again from inside the bathroom, her voice louder. It was humiliating no matter the reason and it wasn't something she wanted to happen. Easy for him to be okay with it. He wasn't the one who had to do it. Men always had it so easy. They could have their fun then go about living their lives. Being a woman was tough and really not fair at all. Then again when had her life ever been fair? "How about you bench yourself and I keep playing?" That wouldn't solve the problem and she was well aware of that. She was just frustrated and, by this point, more than a little strung out.

"Nobody would even know. It would be like when we first started dating. We kept that quiet for a long time." Biting down on her bottom lip she lowered her head calming her breathing and closing her eyes for a moment. Calm. She needed calm. but she also needed to be difficult. "Hart, I would like to be alone right now." Uh oh. There were only a few times when she used his last name. When they were playing or when she was upset with him. This definitely wasn't the prior.

"So, you know you'd never forgive yourself for that." He knew that’s how it would go. And at the end of the day hiding the fact wasn't going to help anyone. And if something were to happen to the baby, without her telling anyone, he bet there would be guilt felt by her, her coach and whatever player caused the incident. He carried enough guilt concerning her to suffice for several people. Guilt for not picking up on what Wood had been doing to her earlier. Guilt for what his father had done to her all because of him. Not that he had really expressed any of that to really anyone. He had apologized to Amelia after it had happened, but his focus both times was to make sure she was doing okay, not on what he had going on. But no one else needed to feel guilty over her.

"I understand you don't." He hated getting benched. He had a couple times when he was in Australia when he had made a couple mistakes in his first couple years, but he had also expected to possibly not play the whole time. He didn't know how he would feel now if he got benched. Especially if he was benched with Puddlemere for something. Of course he supposed he'd rather it now that he would get benched because of poor play instead of keeping him in if he was playing poorly because of his father. At her comment saying he should bench himself he sighed "If I could I would, but that's not how it works. I wouldn't be carrying it."

"We still haven't publically said we're dating Amelia. Sure the rumors are out there, but we haven't. But it's not like you can hide a pregnancy. Dating me doesn't change you physically, this will." Saying that the realization that they would actually need to confirm they had been dating crossed his mind, but it wasn't the time to consider that further. Even though he was a private person in that regard, it wasn't like he'd get out of that one in this situation. When she used his last name and said she wanted to be alone he sighed and stayed quiet for a few minutes, resting his forehead in his hands. He felt horrible. How had he taken what should have been great news and turn it into a situation where they were talking through a door. And on Christmas of all times. She had been so excited to share the day with him, and actually celebrate it with him for the first time. He felt he had ruined it, and they still hadn't actually gotten to the actual day yet. Maybe he should just avoid Christmas all together.

Since he felt like he was letting her down, and the fact he was tired and that didn't tend to help things, he eventually said "Ok." He paused for a few moments before adding "I'll be on the couch." He wanted to give her her space. So he managed to get up and go grab a blanket from their closet and his pillow. Before heading down he stopped at the bathroom door once again and said "I love you Amelia. And I'm sorry." Sorry for knocking you up. Sorry for ruining Christmas. Sorry for not being able to take the time off for her. Sorry for so many things. Once he said that he headed out the door, closing it back up softly so no one else would hear and went down to the couch to settle in. Once he was wrapped up and lying there, he looked at the tree for a few moments, taking in the differences, and the similarities, between it and the one his father had put up for show as a kid. He wondered how he'd manage to get over all those memories. Eventually he fell into a very light sleep, missing Amelia by his side.

Lucas left her alone, as she had requested, and she forced herself to release a shaky breath that she had been holding. Burying her face in her hands she ran them through her brown hair messing it up. What a Christmas Eve indeed. What a life. Why hadn't she bothered to think, like, ever? They should have used protection then this wouldn't have happened and she would have still been able to play the sport that she loved so much. Not that the thought of having a little one all together disgusted her. Scared her maybe but it wasn't entirely unwelcome. To have something that was a mix of her and Lucas created by the two of them. It would be the most magical thing she had ever accomplished. And, hopefully, this baby would turn out to be more like her partner than her.

Wiping at her wet face she forced herself to stand and open the bathroom door. It was late and folks were sleeping over in their guest bedrooms so she would have to proceed carefully and quietly. Sneaking down the stairs she wiped her face with her hands. She knew if Lucas wasn't in their bed where he'd be. He had a subconscious knack for punishing himself even when he had done absolutely nothing wrong especially when it came to her. Turning the corner into the dark living room she found him all tucked in on the couch snoring quietly. That was the man she loved and it wasn't right for her to hurt him so badly just because she was scared. She had done enough of that already. She had to be strong enough for the both of them.

"Lucas?" Bending down she pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek. "I'm sorry..." Her hand cupped his face lightly her thumb tracing his skin fondly. "Do you think there's room for me?" It was us now though, wasn't it? Slipping in next to him on the couch she took his arm and wrapped it around her frame her back pressed into his front as she settled in getting comfortable. "I love you. I don't want to make you upset." She admitted quietly, staring out into the room. They hadn't really been like this since his father had nearly murdered her but that wasn't something she really wanted to revisit. Those had been dark times for her and was precisely the reason they would always be spending the holidays at her place. "I can go back upstairs if you want." Maybe he needed space? She knew that she needed to stop being so stubborn and let him in more. Sometimes to be a good partner you had to give up. This was still something she was trying to get used to as she didn't like to 'lose' at anything.

Lucas did have a tendency to punish himself subconsciously when it came to her. It came from a lot of guilt he had never really worked through. There was the guilt over being the reason his father had almost killed her. The guilt for not acting on the Wood issue quick enough. The guilt for not acting on his feeling sooner. He knew that it wasn't all rational, but he couldn't help it. She was the first person to ever stick up for him. Really the first person to ever earn his trust. Sure it hadn't all been smooth sailing, but she was the person he cared about the most. His closest friend. He wanted the best for her, and for her to have everything she wanted. He couldn't help it.

While he had fallen into a light sleep on the couch, it was no where near as deep asleep as he was with her in his arms. It never was. Of course he had worked through it, since with their schedules they spent weeks apart regularly and he needed to sleep. But when he was this close and feeling guilty, he had no chance of really getting to a deep sleep. So it was no wonder that his eyes opened quite quickly when she said his name and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He looked up at her as she cupped his face with a small smile. "I'm sorry too." he said quietly, enjoying the quite moment. "There's always space for you." He shifted on the couch to let her lie down as well, and when she wrapped his arm around her, he took the blanket with him so they were both covered and cuddled up on the couch.

"I love you too Amelia." he said as he got comfortable again. "I'm not upset. I promise." He really wasn't upset. The news had shocked and surprised him, but if there was anyone he'd want to go through this with, it was her. Maybe the kid would have a lot more of her confidence then Lucas'. Really taking after her a lot would be great. He yawned as he started to get settled again, his body yearning to go back to sleep. Especially with her in his arms again. When she said she could go back upstairs if he wanted, his arm subconsciously tightened a little bit around her, pulling her just a little closer. "You're not going anywhere babe." he said quietly, already starting to drift back to sleep. He didn't just mean that moment. He wasn't going to let her get away from him again, like it had felt like he had all those years ago. "I'm glad I have you in my life." And he had been glad to be able to comfort her over the last couple of years. Especially with everything they had been through.

His eyes fluttered open and deep down she was hopeful that he wasn't too cross with her for being such a pain earlier but also for waking him from his light sleep just now. "You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong." She told him quietly, her fingers soothingly running through his hair and over his face before she climbed onto the couch cuddling up next to him. Of course he would forgive her. He always did. He tended to be putty with her and had been for many years now even before they had gotten together. The blanket was welcomed additional warmth during the winter night even though Amelia tended to keep her home extremely warm. She would rather be sweltering than cold. No idea where that came from.

"At least you still love me." She joked darkly, pressing a soft kiss against his tanned, bare arm as she settled in wrapped up in him. As stubborn and independent as she liked to make herself out to appear there was nowhere she would rather be than in Lucas' strong, toned arms. She felt safe and wanted there even if she was stressed. Especially when she was stressed. There was just something about being held onto tight and affectionately because someone loved you. Lucas did just that. "Ok. I'll stay here then." She agreed, settling even more into the cushion and into her boyfriend.

"I'm glad too." She agreed, staring out into the dark living room as she absentmindedly trailed her fingers up and down his bare arm getting lost in thought. "How do you think we went so long without one another?" She asked, her voice hollow and distant as she briefly closed her eyes. She liked to be rogue but this observation was true. She couldn't picture her life without him now. "I do want to have this baby..." She confirmed in a super soft voice, turning to face him she hugged him tight with a sigh. They were making this decision, at least she was, and though she was scared shitless it was also thrilling. "I'm going to be a mommy and you'll be a daddy." She was more excited for that part. Lucas would be a great father but maybe now wasn't the time to talk about it because of how tired he looked. She noticed this when she looked up at him and affectionately ran her fingertips over his face and the back of his neck. It comforted him and she always did it when she had the chance. 

"I feel like I did." he said before trying to stifle a yawn. Her fingers running through his hair and face just added to the overall feeling of being super comfortable. He was more glad that she had come and joined him than he was upset about being woken up or being on the couch in the first place. He didn't like when things weren't completely alright between the two of them. Sure it made him cave more than he probably should, but he was still happy and didn't feel like he was stuck or anything. He just couldn't go back to not talking with her. Even if that had been several years removed at this point.

"I'll always love you." he said quietly with a smile as he felt her kissing his arm. Sure he had only been actually saying those words for a year or so at that point, but if he really looked inward at his interactions with her, he could probably say he had realized he loved her way back when he had first kissed her. Before that he had just really had a crush on her, but that night he had really realized what she meant to him. "Good." he said as he settled into holding her in his arms, wanting her to feel comfortable and safe. It was also comforting to him to have her close.

"I'm not sure. Circumstances beyond our control." he said before adding "But we've got each other now." Sure it had taken a long time to actually get together and it had been pushed by their friends, as neither of them was going to make a move any time soon. But at the end of the day they were together now, and that was all that mattered. As for her decision he thought on his own for a few moments before saying "I do too." Sure once it really sunk in that he would be a father he would have serious doubts over his ability. Plus the prospect of being that responsible for a baby was scary. But he would be going through it with her, and there was no one else he'd rather raise a child with. His tired eyes met hers as she turned around, and he smiled. "We will indeed." His eyes closed a little as she ran her fingertips over his face and neck. She had managed to find ways to comfort him through touch that didn't have any reminders of his past. This was one of them. And her being with him, plus these gentle touches had him so relaxed he was fast heading back to sleep. "I love you so much Amelia. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I'll always love you too." She smiled trying not to giggle at his obvious sleepiness. Another yawn from him. He was sleepy despite the evening's earlier events. She could tell. Despite herself she smiled fondly just watching him get comfortable and relax. For as strung out and nervous as he had been when they were kids in school now it was like night and day. Every once in a while she would catch a glimpse of what once was though. And when that nervous kid reared it's head she would always be there to comfort it and make him feel whole.

"You can rest if you want." The Keeper encouraged him quietly, once again tracing her fingers through his dark curly hair. Would their future child have the same curls she found herself briefly wondering until she pushed it aside. No need getting lost in those what ifs now. It was too early and too soon. "I don't know about all of that. Sh... Just rest." She whispered kissing his cheek again as her thumb traced idle circles on his cheek. God he was cute and boy how much she loved him. She didn't know it was possible to love something this much. Would the baby be the same way? Amelia didn't exactly see herself as the most maternal of figures but she took care of her boyfriend, didn't she? She certainly tried to. "Tomorrow we'll have Christmas with our friends and it's going to be a lot of fun, right?" Gosh he was so cute she just had to kiss his cheek again. How was she so lucky?

This thread is closed